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Literature Text
As I finished the melody, I opened my eyes. One of the women was staring at me intently. It unnerved me to have one of them finally look at me. And not just look in feigned appreciation at the end of the song; she was really seeing me.
I waited the obligatory few minutes between songs, allowing the crowd to drift into new conversations and different locations. The dark-haired woman glided my way. She moved so subtly at first that I wasn't sure what she was doing; she paused to speak with several other women before her intentions were finally clear. Could she really have liked the previous song that much? She hadn't looked particularly moved by the melancholy notes. And why was she so intent that no one saw she wanted to speak to me?
Her blue eyes narrowed as she approached. I gazed up at her warily, sure I was either going to get a nasty critique or a vague request for some song she'd heard once that resembled what I'd just played.
"What's your name?" she demanded. Her voice was low, musical and authoritative.
"Taylor," I answered, waiting for the berating to begin.
"Hmmm. You're very talented, Taylor. More so than you realize, I think." One delicate eyebrow arched appraisingly as her gaze traveled over my frame. I squirmed uncomfortably and internally laughed at myself. Since when did the appreciative gaze of a beautiful woman make me uncomfortable?
"I'm sorry, milady, I don't understand what you mean by that."
She smiled, her lips curving in an expression devoid of humor but full of knowledge. "You will soon," she replied and turned away. "Play something fast for me, will you Taylor?" she called over her shoulder as she floated back to the other women, leaving me staring like a smitten fool.
Thoroughly confused and more than a little unnerved, I tried to focus my thoughts. Play something fast, eh? That was an easy request to fill, albeit not one I had been expecting. But then, nothing about that exchange had been what I expected. I looked up to find the strange woman among the others and met her icy blue gaze. I offered a weak smile and lifted the violin in her direction, the age-old acknowledgement of a request or dedication. Then, swallowing nervously, I brought the instrument to rest on my shoulder again.
I didn't close my eyes as I began to play an up-tempo jig I hoped she would like.
Suddenly, everything changed. I nearly fell off the stool, the strings squealing in protest at the sudden jerk of my hand. The room was spinning, and not the way it does after over-indulgence in spirits. This was a strange blurring of the action around me. The farthest walls seemed to become a circle of colored stripes colliding, like someone had trapped a rainbow in a bucket and stirred furiously.
I could still clearly see the people around me, but they were moving at speeds that shouldn't have been possible. No one was dancing, no one was running, they were simply continuing their day--accelerated. I sat frozen, watching the jerky blur of people meandering throughout the room, talking for the blink of an eye and moving on to the next conversation.
And then abruptly, it was over. Everything returned to normal. Almost.
© Copyright Kisa Whipkey 2009 All Rights Reserved
I waited the obligatory few minutes between songs, allowing the crowd to drift into new conversations and different locations. The dark-haired woman glided my way. She moved so subtly at first that I wasn't sure what she was doing; she paused to speak with several other women before her intentions were finally clear. Could she really have liked the previous song that much? She hadn't looked particularly moved by the melancholy notes. And why was she so intent that no one saw she wanted to speak to me?
Her blue eyes narrowed as she approached. I gazed up at her warily, sure I was either going to get a nasty critique or a vague request for some song she'd heard once that resembled what I'd just played.
"What's your name?" she demanded. Her voice was low, musical and authoritative.
"Taylor," I answered, waiting for the berating to begin.
"Hmmm. You're very talented, Taylor. More so than you realize, I think." One delicate eyebrow arched appraisingly as her gaze traveled over my frame. I squirmed uncomfortably and internally laughed at myself. Since when did the appreciative gaze of a beautiful woman make me uncomfortable?
"I'm sorry, milady, I don't understand what you mean by that."
She smiled, her lips curving in an expression devoid of humor but full of knowledge. "You will soon," she replied and turned away. "Play something fast for me, will you Taylor?" she called over her shoulder as she floated back to the other women, leaving me staring like a smitten fool.
Thoroughly confused and more than a little unnerved, I tried to focus my thoughts. Play something fast, eh? That was an easy request to fill, albeit not one I had been expecting. But then, nothing about that exchange had been what I expected. I looked up to find the strange woman among the others and met her icy blue gaze. I offered a weak smile and lifted the violin in her direction, the age-old acknowledgement of a request or dedication. Then, swallowing nervously, I brought the instrument to rest on my shoulder again.
I didn't close my eyes as I began to play an up-tempo jig I hoped she would like.
Suddenly, everything changed. I nearly fell off the stool, the strings squealing in protest at the sudden jerk of my hand. The room was spinning, and not the way it does after over-indulgence in spirits. This was a strange blurring of the action around me. The farthest walls seemed to become a circle of colored stripes colliding, like someone had trapped a rainbow in a bucket and stirred furiously.
I could still clearly see the people around me, but they were moving at speeds that shouldn't have been possible. No one was dancing, no one was running, they were simply continuing their day--accelerated. I sat frozen, watching the jerky blur of people meandering throughout the room, talking for the blink of an eye and moving on to the next conversation.
And then abruptly, it was over. Everything returned to normal. Almost.
© Copyright Kisa Whipkey 2009 All Rights Reserved
No part of this document may be reproduced without written consent from the author.
The above excerpt is from my second published work, "Spinning." Featured in Sam's Dot Publishing's Shelter of Daylight Magazine, Issue 3, under my maiden name of Kisa Rupp, "Spinning" is my personal favorite of the three pieces I've finished to date. A tragic tale of love cut short, "Spinning" introduces readers to Taylor and the world of the Spinners--an elite group of bards with the ability to morph time. This excerpt details Taylor's first encounter with his new ability and marks the day his life changes forever. Thank you for reading!
Shelter of Daylight, Issue 3, is available at www.samsdotpublishing.com: [link]
**Update: 6/25/12**
There is a longer, (and different), excerpt for "Spinning" available on my blog. If you enjoyed what you read here, I encourage you to check it out. [link]
Shelter of Daylight, Issue 3, is available at www.samsdotpublishing.com: [link]
**Update: 6/25/12**
There is a longer, (and different), excerpt for "Spinning" available on my blog. If you enjoyed what you read here, I encourage you to check it out. [link]
© 2011 - 2024 KWhipkey
Comments2
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Hello!
An intriguing piece, and I say that as one who generally looks askance at time travel/time bending stories (I get too hung up on the physics).
I like the way the characters are drawn quickly and deftly in this small piece. I get a sense of Taylor's personality and of the nameless woman who has made his heart beat more quickly as it were. The idea of tieing music to the ability to morph time is one that I have not run across before, so kudos on the concept's originality.
I like this line, as it captures the essence of some many live music bars in one sentence: "I waited the obligatory few minutes between songs, allowing the crowd to drift into new conversations and different locations."
Technically the piece has nice pacing though I note the word "was" or variants there of are used 12 times in the piece, with six instances coming in the first third of the excerpt. I find the word slows down pacing and is tied up with passive voice. I try to limit my use of the word, but everyone's style is different.
I found this sentence a little awkward: "I squirmed uncomfortably and internally laughed at myself." To me these are almost diagmetrically opposed emotions and I had a hard time conceptualizing how they could be felt simultaneously.
Still this are minor quibbles. I take it the nameless lady and Taylor have the ill-fated love cut short? And how is the time actually morphed? Inquiring minds would like to know.
An intriguing piece, and I say that as one who generally looks askance at time travel/time bending stories (I get too hung up on the physics).
I like the way the characters are drawn quickly and deftly in this small piece. I get a sense of Taylor's personality and of the nameless woman who has made his heart beat more quickly as it were. The idea of tieing music to the ability to morph time is one that I have not run across before, so kudos on the concept's originality.
I like this line, as it captures the essence of some many live music bars in one sentence: "I waited the obligatory few minutes between songs, allowing the crowd to drift into new conversations and different locations."
Technically the piece has nice pacing though I note the word "was" or variants there of are used 12 times in the piece, with six instances coming in the first third of the excerpt. I find the word slows down pacing and is tied up with passive voice. I try to limit my use of the word, but everyone's style is different.
I found this sentence a little awkward: "I squirmed uncomfortably and internally laughed at myself." To me these are almost diagmetrically opposed emotions and I had a hard time conceptualizing how they could be felt simultaneously.
Still this are minor quibbles. I take it the nameless lady and Taylor have the ill-fated love cut short? And how is the time actually morphed? Inquiring minds would like to know.